A Mother's Love

Sometimes it blows my mind how much I love my daughter. I know, sounds cheesy. But really- people told me that I would love her like nothing else and I just blew them off thinking they were being overly dramatic (Mom, sound familiar?). And then, Cali was born with a calm expression on her face and I saw those little eyes, fingers, nose, and feet... I felt so much love for her that I could hardly contain it.

I thought I knew what love was love before. I mean, I love climbing, music, playing drums, painting, contemporary art, the colors orange and manganese blue, chocolate, my husband, good friends, my family... the list goes on and on. These things and people make me feel good and thinking about them makes me feel love. But then Cali came, and showed me an entirely new, almost alien love, that surpassed any ideas of what I thought a mother's love could be for a child.

Oh, there's times when the whining and temper tantrums make me want to put in earplugs and isolate myself behind shut doors. But the love never disappears: it's that intense. And then she does something adorable like blows me kisses, or says "Mommy's amazing," or inundates me with a slurry of hugs and my heart feels like it grows a few cubic feet during those seconds.

I am so grateful for that love- it makes me a better person and I get so excited thinking about being with her. And tantrums aside, she makes it easy, being such an incredible person at just 20 months of age. Thanks, Cali, for showing me how to love unconditionally like this.

Illustration: Babe in arms, by Sara Zimmerman Copyright 2009